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          欢迎浏览美文阅读网!

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          Deep forget

          编辑:美文阅读网来源:美文阅读网发布时间:2019-08-20阅读(99)

            我仅仅是想找个地方,记录我还未流逝的青葱岁月。

            总会在不经意间碰见一些人,遇到一些事,那种想提笔写下来的冲动无时无刻萦绕在我心中?;蛐硎巧钐招?,精神缺乏关怀,我急切地想要找到什么来填补空洞的灵魂。我在不安,我在焦虑,我在害怕着什么?莫名的恐惧犹如蔷薇的藤蔓,缠绕在脖颈,越缩越紧。

            一天天地过去,一天天地长大,我开始察觉,我害怕的是年龄增长带来的对未知的紧张,一步一步,在犹豫中摸索,在犹豫中跌倒,在犹豫中彳亍。

            在商店里买了一沓书签,买的时候非常喜欢,觉得很好看,于是想也没想便掏钱走人。等到爱不释手的劲头一过,望着一张一张的卡片,完全不知道买回来有什么用,尽管心中有不忍,也只好将它扔到一旁,任由遗忘。

            有时真的认为睡觉是最幸福的事,宽松的睡衣,温暖的被窝,让疲惫的四肢尽情舒展,然后沉沉地进入梦乡。我是个爱做梦的孩子,梦中的灵魂是自由的,是不羁的,梦中的世界与现实中的不一样,没有快节奏的压力,没有千篇一律的生活模式,甚至没有滴嗒滴嗒转的时间限制。梦境是一个无限的、任意的、扭曲的空间,徜徉其中,忘却自我。

            突然间好像来一次180°的大转变,不做亲人眼中的乖乖女,老师眼中的好学生,想尝试不一样的青春。以前我努力地想给每一个人留下美好的印象,但当我逐步涉世,我意识到这是一件不现实、比登天还难的事。总有人会看不惯你,会讨厌你,你所谓的“天真友好”会让别人觉得你傻,理所当然地利用你、欺骗你,就像是棋局对决,执子起落间运棋如风,只是在无数次的凝神之中,无人在意那一枚枚从指间滑落的棋子。Game over之后,你我都不过是一枚倒下的“弃子”。

            我们到底为什么而活?我一直找不到答案。长大之后的我们,世界观逐渐在改变,看到了太多太多的黑暗和丑恶,我们不再相信课本上描绘的世间大爱、人性善良。教科书企图用“童话”为我们虚构一个世界,等到我们真正看清世俗的嘴脸,明白生死沧桑,很多事情都发生了改变。年少时的那份狂妄、那份执著,长大后才发现不值得坚持。

            我们的心中充满怕和爱,怕和爱是支撑我们活下去的信念,是时候该学会面对了,面对这纷繁浩杂的世界。不能放弃,因为放弃意味着失败;不能逃避,因为逃避意味着死亡。丢掉大大咧咧,捡起的是顾虑成熟,我只想抓住这短暂的青春,想停下来看一看这个世间。青春的道路,需要一个人独自走下去,拽住时间的脚步,痛苦迷惘与我同在。

          本文标题:Deep forget

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