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          25岁前分手真的算一件好事

          编辑:美文阅读网来源:美文阅读网发布时间:2019-05-14阅读(99)

            作者|YangFanJame

            人生中最讨厌的问题之一就是有人问:“我对象不爱我了,我该怎么办?”只要朋友有感情问题,还跑来找我救助解答的,我百分之百都是劝分不劝合。

            说实话,我见过许许多多的人潦倒一生,真的不是因为她们不努力,而是因为她们过早的陷入了感情里,反反复复,耗光了自己所有的力气之后,想要草草了事,然后随便找了一个就想着幸福一生?所以我通?;崂匆痪?ldquo;分手真的是好事”。

            01

            我大学时代有一个很好的女生朋友,突然有一天上课拉着我就往教室外面跑,把我带到一个别人看不见的小角落,哇的一下就哭了。

            我有点震惊,这个女生平时做事雷厉风行,处理班级事务干净利落,是出了名的女强人,在我们艺术系简直比直男还要直男。我问她怎么了,她跟我说,她男朋友要跟她分手。

            她男朋友是她县城的老乡,跟她处了5年多,青梅竹马,小学开始暗恋,初中开始交往;后来她上了大学,他去当了兵。我们全班都知道他们俩的恋情,两个人感情稳定,互见过家长,早就已经到了谈婚论嫁的地步。

            他们分手的原因是男人当兵回来,学坏了,觉得自己没玩够,在外面有了别人,突然就跟我这个朋友说:“你能不能等我玩够了再回来娶你?”

            这种男人简直就该杀千刀下地狱对不对!但——我这个女生朋友,还真的想要考虑男生说的意见。不为什么——只是因为,她还在天真的觉得,两个人什么都经历过了,说分就分,觉得太可惜了,害怕再也没有下一个了。

            我沉思了一下,问她:“这个男生很帅吗?”

            她说:“不帅啊。”

            再问:“那他家里有钱吗?”

            她说:“还行吧,只是一般。”

            再问:“那你毕业后是要回到老家跟他结婚生活吗?”

            她说:“他之前的确是这么要求我的。”

            我说:“好,如果你们继续在一起,你毕业后就要回小城镇结婚生子,跟一个高中文凭既不帅又没钱的男人过一辈子,这就是你想要的生活,对吗?”她听完就沉默了。

            “年轻的时候萌发的感情,就像是给小孩子穿的衣服,穿的了一时,穿不了一世。多年以前你们都还在念初中,俩人都是涉世未深,当然地位相当平等啊,可是后来女生进了大城市开阔了眼界建立了三观;男生从军回来无所事事缺乏混吃等死,两个人的世界早就差了一个等级。年轻人的价值观就像青春期的身体,说变就变,两人的三观一两年就天差地别,即使现在在一起,婚后也不会幸福。”

            后来他们最终还是分了,我那个女生朋友心智很坚定,五年感情留下的创伤,她用了半年就恢复得差不多了,现在过得很好。我再问她回想起那段事的感受时,她只说了一句话:“幸亏我跟他分了。”

            02

            有的人运气好碰到我这样的分手大师,顺利的分了手;但些人终究还是终成眷属了,不知道为什么,我初中同班最好看的男生和女生们,全都早早的收获了感情。(这不废话吗人家长得好看爱情当然来得早!)并且最终都和初中时候的恋爱对象修成正果结了婚。

            你可能想说:“怎么了?那不是挺好的吗?”,其实并没有。

            初中我们班有两个女生长得特别好看,第一个走清纯路线,第二个走风骚路线。早早的谈了恋爱跟爱人立下山盟海誓缠缠绵绵到天涯,结果,清纯点的那个女生比较幸运,高中的时候认识了个学霸男朋友,人家后来考上复旦,而她只考上了本地的一所大学;两人长期异地恋。

            可是几年之后,上海的学霸男友思想早已翻天覆地,她却还依旧是个小镇姑娘,于是上演了一出男版的“我要跟我的老情人说拜拜”,相恋五年,成功分手,互相不为难,可喜可贺。

            但是走风骚路线的那个女生就很惨了。我最近才从初中另一个同班同学里知道了她的消息,她因为姿色出挑,早就被当地的男孩子们团团围住,哪还有心思学习工作。现在沦为人母,20出头就生了孩子。当我再次看到她的照片时,吓了一跳,穿着拖鞋抱着小孩,身体臃肿脸色暗黄,就连气质都散发着一股农村妇女的淳朴,跟“好看”两个字根本再无丝毫联系,后来她老公外出打工,还当了包工头,在外面养起了大学生。好了,我只是觉得可惜而已。

            大家于是说:“你说的这些,都是18岁之前的乡村爱情故事,我们可是先进的知识青年!”我觉得上大学谈恋爱是挺不错,但是结果更惨。

            大学生谈恋爱最惨痛的地方莫过于:虽然彼此依旧幼稚,但是已经具备了成年人的杀伤力。

            初中高中小朋友谈恋爱跟两个小朋友拿皮球互砸,没什么杀伤力;但是到了25岁前的大学时期,简直就是两个小朋友拿着刀在互砍。感情冲动、智商水准和作逼手段都已经达到了一定境界,什么时候心里面不爽,动不动就玩个爱的小游戏,互相搞死对方,尤其是,我很少见过手牵手去图书馆一起好好复习共同奋斗的,全都是宁愿挂科也要选择在前一晚啪啪啪的。

            但最惨的还是毕业的时候。

            各奔东西好聚好散也就算了,可你知道每年有多少毕业生放弃工作机会为爱漂流到异乡么?“我为了你,放弃了所有跑到了这个城市”,于是这个时候感情生活只会是负担,因为这个时候每个人都担起了家庭生活的责任,两个涉世未深又为爱纠葛的年轻人,是很难在社会上站稳脚跟的,而往往没有哪个年轻人,强大到为了爱情而割舍生活责任。

            再说,社会上的人形形色色,你的人生才刚开始,最初你以为美丽花,万一回头看看,说不定就是颗野草罢了。

            03

            越早走进爱情的死胡同,人生轨迹越是向下;越想长相厮守,你付出的代价越有可能是你的个人前途。

            爱情就是双刃剑,年轻的时候你玩不好,容易割手。年轻的时候谁没傻逼过,我也曾经为了某个人轰轰烈烈地跑到某个地方,爱得太痛苦了,但是爱情原本就是血与泪的相爱相杀;谁知道,原本想着陪一个人尽量走远一点,居然演变成一出我捉奸在床的好戏,连根一拔,居然发现这个人渣风花雪月,早就不知道跟多少人打着找真爱的旗号打短期炮了。

            痛苦之后利落分干净,回头看看,都觉得自己瞎了。早在没分之前,他的种种恶习和自负跋扈,早就超出了自己能接受的范围。但是在各种人面兽心的乞求下,你还是心软,你怕找不到下一个了、你怕这段感情可惜了;但是转头一看,你为了这段孽缘搭进去的是你原本应该能得到更好发展的自信、机会、青春和时间。

            很多人都对年轻时候的某段恋情耿耿于怀,不是因为你真的很受伤;而是因为25~30岁,是大多数人决定一生的决胜年,20岁之前在爱情里小打小闹无伤大雅,但是在你决战人生沙场的前夕万一失足走了一段错爱,你终究会发现你为那几个人渣付出的一切擦枪磨剑的岁月,你在后来,花多少之间都补不回来了。

            原本可以成为更好的人,找到更好的生活,结果却因为三两人渣用爱情的名义把自己拖下了水。谁会不记恨啊?

            爱情是一件小时候的童装,你越早穿它,它就越小;你穿它穿的越久,它就勒得越是让你喘不过气来。只有你的身体停止了生长,你才知道什么尺码的衣服,能够让你穿很久。

            年轻人谈恋爱,付出的代价最是惨痛;但就像童装,即使它很快就被淘汰了,但不代表我们小时候就不想穿衣服了。

            年轻人的爱情,进去了就不要想着长相厮守,分手是好事,因为厮守的代价,很有可能是一个充满怨愤的你和一个你怨愤的人过一辈子。

          本文标题:25岁前分手真的算一件好事

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